i am happy to say that i am now a salaryman, i work in an office and have something called objectives. the louche layabout days of yesteryear are behind me as i impatiently pound the pavements exuding importance.
a good friend spent the day yesterday promenading on jermyn street getting measured for a new blazer, horned into new brogues and shaved by a true pro at taylor’s. needless to say that i was extremely jealous. his last call of the day was to the exquisite haven of tobacco appreciation - davidoff and i am thankful that it was for the proprietor - eddie - invited him to appreciate a fine cigar from cohiba that had been teamed with a fine cognac from remy martin. the call was made and i hightailed it off to put on a suit and tie. within the hour i was strolling along jermyn st towards the ritz sporting my favourite colourful tie and anticipating something rather special. i was not disappointed.
louis xiii is the finest cognac in the world and is formed from a blend of 1200 different cognacs. the grapes in this bottle had been picked in 1909 which is why they were so excited to slip out of the bottle and into something more comfortable - namely my mouth.
the cigar crowd is one that appreciated the finer things in life and they were all very excited about trying the cohiba limited edition from 2004. eddie tutored me in the correct way to enjoy the cigar, to take time out to think about life and how to look like a pro. his shop has been in business for decades and occupies a special site in the heart of many celebrities such as certain former mr universe with an interest in acting and politics.
the ritz cigar haven is quite an establishment and if you are the least bit interested then i suggest that you make your way there for a snoop around. you do need a tie though but if you don’t bring your own they will supply one for you.
davidoff even stocks fox’s umbrellas which makes it a shop after my own heart.
a few years ago i expressed an interest in owning some crockery that would enable me to act like sir james olivier and make something called a timbale. the lovely lady filed this in her secret ‘things to get vaughan for random gifts’ file and i thought nothing further of it.
in due course a suite of these fellows turned up -
naturally the purchase was not without a tale. they came from southbank glass and china - probably the finest purveyors of kitchenware anywhere south of the river. the cheeky young scamp behind the counter sealed the deal by writing his telephone number on the wrapping paper - just in case the lovely lady needed some personal assistance in the kitchen.
their shop is small and insignificant in many ways but without it the residents of this area will have to travel miles to buy an egg cup or a tea strainer. mere trifles in the grand scheme of things but a sign of things to come i fear. our locale will soon lose one more local amenity and gain yet another superfluous generic paper cup shop as the greedy landlord doubles his requirement with impunity.
if there is a bright side, and i am sure that there must be at some level, it is that a competitor for the lovely lady’s love will walk off into the sunset unless he chooses to trade his personality for a european accent and a paper hat.
*fill in the blank.
i am sorry to report that the chaps who do my shirts for me are on the verge of closing. the dear old fellows at panbros on the cut have been keeping my cotton clean and my collars crisp for yonks now and i’ve come to rely on their service. they always provide a quip about the cricket and a little insight into local life.
sadly their scrooge-like landlord has doubled their rent so they have to go. i wonder what will be next out: the shop of kitchen wares, the launderama, the electrical fellows or (and to be frank this is my greatest fear!) the turkish restaurant that specialises in food on sticks that often offers some assistance when i’ve had one over the odds of an evening. please god, let them not take capital kebabs!!!
it should be a lesson to us all, as independent shops close across the country only to be replaced by another coffee chain or small supermarket, use them or lose them because once they’re gone, they won’t be coming back and then where will you get your shirts done?
UPDATE
bad news - the launderette has now closed and it looks as though costa coffee will be moving in, since we already have five or six cafes in which to buy a cappuccino i’d say that this will be over-caffeining the cut somewhat.
good news - panbros has a new home over the road. the sanitation of my shirts is saved. bravo!
